Une Vie

I automatically make a note of all the exits whenever I enter a new place. If I am ever walking alone I always make sure to be on high alert. I’ve trained my eyes to constantly observe every detail that’s remotely close to me in case any one of them turns into a threat. My innocence made me believe that this behavior was just my thing for a long time. I wish. I know for a fact that these patterns in my behavior are prevalent amongst people all over the world. Some are lucky and have never been exposed to an environment where they have to look over their shoulders so often. It’s a shame that “lucky” is the word I have to use when I aspire to live in a world where that should be the norm. I am also aware that “unlucky” is different across situations and people, but I want to focus on one type in particular today. To provide some backstory, I always scroll through social media before bed. The other day I stumbled upon a video while scrolling through Twitter. Me being curious - I clicked it. If I could go back in time I would have never watched it, but now that I have I feel the need to talk about it. Essentially, Naira Ashraf rejected this man’s proposal on numerous occasions which he was unable to swallow. In a midst of anger, he killed her right in front of their University. While it was incredibly dreadful to see, I am fully aware that this is one story amongst many. As someone who engages in a lot of true crime stories, I have realized that a lot of bad things that happen are usually caused by people victims already knew. To me, that is the scariest part of all of this. It’s one thing to be afraid to walk alone at night but it’s another to be afraid of people you already know. When you meet people you automatically open a door of vulnerability regardless of how close or distant that relationship is. As a result, they possess a sense of entitlement for the relationship to go the way they perceive it should be. There is no way to know how extreme this entitlement can make someone behave until, sometimes, it is far too late. Many of these cases have revolved around relationships, but it can also be so much more than that. It all comes down to desirability and what someone else wants from you but cannot have. It is reasons like these why it is important to be mindful of the people you welcome into your life. It isn’t just your life that you need to be cautious of but your friends and family too. You get a choice. You get to pick your partner, but your child doesn’t. So, choose wisely for them. If anyone ever gives you the slightest sign to look over your shoulder then trust that gut instinct because it hardly lies. One time, in London I was sitting in the lobby of my hotel waiting for my mom to come down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two men staring at me from opposite sides of the lobby. My gut knew that they were bad people and their intentions were far from good. As soon as I got up they looked at each other and signaled “go” as if I couldn’t see them. One of them tried to slowly creep up behind me, but because I make sure to scan every location I went back to my room without those bozos even seeing it. Obviously, things like this don’t happen every day or to everyone so I don’t mean to instill fear in anyone. I am lucky to be surrounded by people that I can trust with my life and I am sure you are too, but it’s always good to be aware. The only person you’ll ever truly know is yourself.

- With love, Fiza Usman