Miserable Together, Happy Apart.
Everyone always says I am a huge extrovert. While it is indeed true, I often find smaller social circles to be more rewarding. We do not get to control many aspects of our lives, so it is important to be mindful of the things we can control. That includes the people we surround ourselves with - like friends, family, mentors, co-workers, etc. Our strongest relationships often become reflections of us internally and externally, so it is quite important that they encourage our security. While there may not be absolute perfection in friendships, loyalty and trust are pretty close recipes for one. A good friendship can take you a long way, and a bad one can make things so much longer. Sometimes, the more you explore certain relationships the more you realize that they are not the type of people you want around you. It is not to say that their characters are inherently flawed, they just don’t have a place in your life at that specific time or maybe even ever. You can still root for their success without being their future wedding guest. As I mentioned before, you don’t have to stay in touch to appreciate the times you were. And, sometimes it is easier to stay in certain relationships for the sake of their feelings or because you like certain aspects of them, but hardly ever does that outweigh everything they take away from your life. With every transition period of mine, I often shift my priorities, and that by default changes the company around me. Usually, this change happens gradually (lessons learned - no more ghosting), but sometimes things happen and you can’t take it anymore. I am not (I repeat - I am not) pointing fingers at anyone, but distancing yourself does not come spontaneously and is often backed by some valid reasoning. It bothers me when people possess this sense of entitlement. Entitled to know what’s happening in your life at all times and control the timeline of the relationship. When these relationships are broken, they demand continuous explanations or take it as a personal attack when the harsh reality is, I am just preoccupied with other things. At the end of the day, it is my life and it is important I choose myself.
- With love, Fiza Usman
