Cheers To Three!
Oh hi! I know I missed out on quite a lot so let’s just take a moment to acknowledge everything. Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year!! Happy Valentine’s Day (to some of you anyway). Last but most definitely not least, Happy International Women’s Day aka the anniversary of my blog. Regardless of how these notable days went, I hope nothing but the best for this year forward. While I may not write frequently (at least on here anyway), I always have a thought I wish I could take the time to sit down and share here. I guess the cool thing about waiting is that I have more to say right now - enjoy.
Almost every morning that I need caffeine I walk over to this beautiful cafe around the corner of my apartment. Not only do they have the best caramel latte I have ever had in my life, but it is also only $4!! If you think that’s a lot for a flavored coffee, then you are most definitely not seeking out a morning brew like I do. The cafe’s quaint environment has easily made it one of my favorite places to do work or eat lunch with a friend. Honestly, my weekly trip there has easily become one of the best parts of my day. It is because I love it so much that I honestly want to protect my perception of it. If I have that coffee or their food with the wrong person and they absolutely found it to be the most repulsive edible garbage in the world, I might too. Our opinions are sometimes echoes of what other people tell us. Just one word can entirely distinguish at what angle we look at something, making something we love appear less beautiful. Unless you truly know who you are, you will never be able to advocate against something someone else believes in. Neither will you be okay with having faults or being imperfect at times. Confidence is such an interesting word. You either hate it because you lack a concrete grasp on it and wish you could keep it, or embody it effortlessly. Many people confuse the definition behind the word, as they’ve limited it to being accepting of your physical attributes. “Confidence is how you feel when you look a certain way or how you operate around other people” - sure, but that’s not necessarily the big picture is it? It doesn’t matter whether other people perceive you as confident if, internally, you are anything but. The words you have to say, the people you choose to hang out with, the clothes you decide to wear, and most importantly who you carry yourself to be are all ultimately your decision. Figuring out the answers to these choices takes time and often a lot of trial and error. Yet, once you have hopefully figured it out, confidence is being able to fully accept that. Even if you say something bizarre (which I do almost every day), you kind of just have to own it. If you strive for a picture-perfect reputation, you put heavy emphasis on what others think. When you do it without thinking of the repercussions, you do it for you. It’s a lack of fear of potentially being labeled as one of the creative descriptions people come up with. It doesn’t matter to you, because you are secure enough to find the humility in the situation. You can advocate for the right thing and express yourself without the fear of judgment from others. Now, that’s something to strive for. Like I said, confidence can go either two ways; either you have it or you don’t. I have been in positions of both, which is why I can identify the differences as well. I think insecurity is something everyone faces, so who am I to put myself above that? Within my progression, I have noticed that when one exemplifies confidence people seem to become threatened by it. Almost every spectacular and charming woman I know has had to face some sort of backlash for things I never understood. I get it now though. We want people to fit an image in our heads that makes them feel a lot smaller than they are, so it no longer intimidates us. Although that feels like a solution, you just get farther and farther away from yourself. At the end of the day, if you didn’t like my coffee shop, I probably wouldn’t care (but I would ask what’s wrong with you). What I will say is that representing a quality that keeps you grounded in who you are, whilst simultaneously allowing others to do the same is admirable. A good woman does not spend too much time on what is irrelevant in her life, as her priority is to continue to embody a sense of confidence that is true to her.
- As always, Fiza Usman
