Fake It Till You Make It
It’s quite ironic, but one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard in my life comes from someone I absolutely despise (funny how that works). I don’t remember the exact phrase, but it was somewhere along the lines of “you should always care about what people think of you, and the image you portray of yourself to others.” I initially disagreed (as I said, they always got on my last nerve) because it seemed like the exact opposite of what you should do, but jokes aside they were actually absolutely right. Let me explain because I too, found it quite confusing initially. It’s about perspective and understanding that certain things are earned - not given. People treat you based on the version they have of you in their minds. Whether they respect you, admire you, or neither… they always act accordingly. Their perception of you may even precede past them to others surrounding you. I feel the need to point out that this doesn’t mean that you should conform to what society wants of you or be an inauthentic version of yourself (I don’t encourage that). No. It means that you learn to own your own truth and use that to your advantage. Create the narrative that you’re strong, confident, or whatever else you want to be. You’re the only person with the power to control the words that precede your name. Don’t give people the opportunity to overpower you and define who you are. And, it also doesn’t mean that you need to focus on every little detail to impress others. Honestly, nobody really cares about the small things that we do, and the assumptions we think other people are making about us are usually not true. Like, let’s say you’re at a party. No one cares what dress you wear, but who’s wearing the dress (the devil wears Prada, not the other way around). You’ll always be remembered by the person you choose to portray yourself to be, so make sure it’s the best version of yourself. It’s a choice that will either build your reputation up or destroy it. And hey, if they still don’t like you, after all that then maybe they’re the problem…
- With love, Fiza Usman
