Change the Narrative

In high school, I spent a lot of time with one person — my best friend at the time. From sophomore to senior year, she and I were the dynamic duo (we were kind of like a buy one get one free package). Honestly, my high school experience probably would’ve sucked without her by my side. While we talked about “forever,” our forever was, unfortunately, a lot shorter than expected. During our senior year, there was a turning point in our relationship, and we abruptly ended all ties with each other. Out of respect for her, I won’t go into details about what prompted that end, but I will say that a disagreement caused our separation. We wouldn’t talk to each other in class, we didn’t eat lunch together, nor did we text all day like we used to. The worst part of all is that we didn’t even celebrate graduation together when we looked forward to that moment the entirety of our time at school. She became my “ex-best friend” if you will. Once we stopped communication, I started to view her a little differently. Although I never uttered a bad word about her, the ending of our relationship began to define our entire time together. For a little while, I let my negative thoughts that stemmed from our argument overpower the amount of love I had for her. I lost sight of who she was, a valuable person that meant everything to me, and sadly resorted to canceling her from my life. And I realize that this mentality to think about our ex-relationships in a negative limelight, making the ending representative of the entire situation is common among society. It’s like our own cancel culture; we remove people from our lives and undeservingly bash their character in the process, sometimes overnight. I understand the need to stand for what’s right, but should it always warrant rewriting their identity and how they’ve been there for you? Unless they’ve done something absolutely disrespectful and unforgivable, then by all means you have my permission to give them the lovely finger resting between your index and ring finger (I mean it). But, should a big “f*** you” be our immediate reaction to everyone we no longer talk to? Though this isn’t just in our personal lives, “cancel culture,” as we know it is “canceling” celebrities and their platforms for usually minuscule mistakes. We as a society quite literally change our opinions within seconds and decide that they no longer deserve their platform. Just like our exes, they’re human and will make mistakes that shouldn’t undo any of the things that made you love them in the first place. Some relationships are destined to end and that’s okay, but instead of letting hatred cloud our perception, I feel as though we should focus on cherishing the moments and moving on. Not only to maintain a healthier mindset ourselves but to also appreciate the people who have helped shape us in one way or another. So, if you're reading this Tina…. you will always be my high school best friend. Muah.

- With love, Fiza Usman