The Picture You Paint

You hold so much power. Power in the sense that you have more control over the way people treat and think of you than you may think. If you were to ask what people thought of me, those answers would vary depending on the time they met me. In college, I often hear that I am quite poised, composed, and grounded. It is only with time, that people get to know this insanely ridiculous side of me. Some would even say I’m hilarious (some meaning me). In high school, that was completely swapped. I predominately presented my erratic side. While it isn’t a bad thing to do so, it was not the impression I wanted people to have of me, back then or now. By freely making my self-deprecating jokes, I unknowingly allowed people to think that they could make them too. The more jokes I made about myself, the more comfortable people felt doing the same. The way I perceived myself and talked about myself to a broader audience, affected the way people treated me. If I presented myself to be a pushover or careless, people would take advantage of that. Even though I had wonderful friends whom I love to this day, sometimes I wish I could focus on that different side of me back then. Maybe that would change a few perceptions people have that were not completely representative of who I was. Because in college that is never a problem. Now that I have grown to hold a stronger composure, people are more respectful in many ways. No one feels comfortable crossing boundaries they already should not. From my personal experiences at least, when I initially presented myself to be more relaxed in life, people did not take me seriously. There was difficulty separating my serious side from my other side because I had already built that primary expectation. It was only when I internally changed the narrative I wanted other people to know, that helped changed other people’s narratives of me. Of course, there are those cases where there is nothing you can possibly do to gain their respect. Regardless of what you do, they may still have a negative representation of you, and to that, I say meh whatever. But when you can control it, I recommend building a reputation you are proud of without jeopardizing who you are. Everyone doesn’t need to know every aspect of you, just the ones you want them to know. With that being said, I have some really funny jokes that apparently only I find humorous but still, I’d love to share. If you ask me for a joke, you will not regret it (or at least I won't).

- With so much love, Fiza Usman